Saying goodbye after spending time with people is a weird feeling. This is not summer vacation where we will all see each other back at school in a few months. Some friends are much harder to say goodbye to than others, yet it is still a weird feeling to say goodbye to anyone who I have had a meaningful encounter with this semester. I will keep in touch with the close friends I have made this semester, but for the large majority I will probably never see again. It is an unsatisfying feeling to see someone regularly for an extended time period and then say goodbye with a quick hug as s/he heads to the airport. Still, I know I will be one of these exchange students giving the hug and heading back to my home university in a short while. I will say goodbye to friends which Macquarie University is their home university. I’ve been trying to put myself in their shoes (as one of these full-time Macquarie students). It must to be difficult to say goodbye to new friends semester after semester as each exchange group’s experience concludes. Here are some of my thoughts on encounters/friendships between full-time students and exchange students.
Throughout the semester I have felt two different vibes from full-time Macquarie students. Some students welcomed the exchange students whole heartedly and others were very stand-offish. At first I struggled to understand the stand-offish attitude, but I can now understand this stand-offish approach much more. If someone is going to leave in a few months, it is easy to think ‘what’s the point of getting to know someone?’ This prevents having to say goodbye to a growing friend after just a few short months. It’s much simpler to say goodbye to people who are not your friends.
USD does not have semester exchange students. (We do have international students, but these students attend USD for multiple years and most often their whole degree) Thus, this is my first time saying goodbye to a group of 5-month buddies. From the exchange student point of view and I can say how valuable those experiences are with the full-time Macquarie students who reach out to be friends with exchange students. A couple friendships I have made with Macquarie students this semester has left an impact on me and has led to a handful of significant events in my life over the past semester. These friendships and encounters have provided experiences for me to think, learn, and grow from. I am grateful for these students who are willing to overlook the chance of a tough goodbye for a growing semester and a global friend. I now recognize the value in getting to know someone, even if it may be for a short time. However, with the growing interconnectedness of the world, more and more past goodbyes are becoming today’s “see you laters.” I think it is valuable to make and to have friends from around the world. Don’t let the possibility of a rough tomorrow end a great today!
Interesting conclusion to a semester of new adventure. New world, new friends become your world and your friends. I understand the point of the locals. It is tough to give a piece of your heart away every semester. Reminds me of a television movie I saw last night. "A Dog called Christmas" a yellow lab about eight years old is in the local shelter. The shelter has a policy to allow neighbors to adopt / rent an animal from the shelter for the Holiday season. Then if you are strong enough, or mean enough ... you return the new found friend to the shelter on Dec.26th. This rented dog saved the entire family from a wild mountain lion that was set to attack his new found friends during his "rented" vacation away from the pound. And the old man takes him back to the POUND, straight up on 12/26 at high noon. The poor dog goes back into the shelter barking and kicking, probably mad he didn't team up with the cougar when he had the chance to bargain with the old guy. What more do you want ...?? But, the old guy didn't want a broken heart when he knew in the end he would out live the dog. In the end the dog runs away from the shelter, and goes straight to the old man. This time he remained as part of the family. I actually see it in my business. Many sales associates drop out during the first six months. Several old time agents don't allow themselves to get to know the new guy until after the first year. Many times a newer agent will comment "What's up with .... He/She hasn't said a word in a year, now he talks my ear off and wants to go to lunch ???" Welcome to the club, you have passed the first year test. If we know you are going to stay we can "invest" our heart and soul into a new found friendship without fear of a timed relationship. From the minute we arrive on planet Earth, the clock begins to tick, until the bell finally rings as we have completed our pre-determined cycle as living and breathing beings. Once it is over, it is over as we know our life on this side of death. Each of these Hello's and Good Bye's prepare us for just that day, you can almost call it practice. "Practice ... Not a game.. Practice" for the play offs (Play Off's !!!) of life. I have an old high school friend that just started a "Who's Dead ..??" reference page from the High School and Junior High School that I attended so many years ago. The list is starting to grow at an alarming rate. Breast cancer, liver disease, car crash, heart attacks, drug over dose, suicide, and .... one guy is a fire chief and he has attended several of the calls that ended the life of several of our class mates. So it really put me in the mood to look at life and friendships, and as expected in the end it is the friendships that matter the most. Friends come and go like waiters in a restaurant, but if you have the opportunity to make a difference even for one moment, it is worth the risk of potential heart break. Similar to your ego, your heart will repair it self in a heart beat. Which is a pretty good trade, compared to not taking the opportunity to say "Hello " in the first place. Value your friendships, both new and old, they are one of life's greatest rewards.
ReplyDeleteVery well said. And like both of us often do, this relationship/friendship value reminds me of little league. When playing the games, winning and losing seem to be of all importance. I even remember shedding my share of tears after losing big games or struggling in crucial moments. (and Chris Ball's little sister always seemed to be there to tell the world I had tears on my face....she was an annoying girl!) However, the real value of these little league days is seen when I think back. Whether we won or lost has no significance. The things we remember are the friendships and bonds with teammates, families, and the Bill Pessacks/KBs that just enjoyed being around everything. I forgot the games, but I remember so many moments hanging with the Gonzalez's, Marcos, Vernon, Max, Bo, Luis, Jeremy, etc. These are moments that seem to go on every day throughout life but their significance is repeatedly overlooked. I am definitely guilty of overlooking this relationship value too and sometimes I still continue to do so. It is easy to get caught up in winning and losing in the moment, but I am glad that I am starting to see a bigger picture.
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